What If?
by VintageNicky
Summary: What if Edward left Bella at the hospital? Would she move on in life and find someone else to have a crush on? Or would she try to find him? Lets find out shall we! Characters might be a bit OOC later on, not sure! Rated for language at the moment! XD
1. Darkness Surrounds You

Well I love the books and I just watched Twilight and I thought it was bloody amazing! And then I got some really great ideas (well I think they are, not sure yet :S) and had to write this.

What if Edward (LOVE HIM!!) left Bella at the hospital? Would she move on in life and find someone else to have a crush on? Or would she try to find him? Lets find out shall we!

It might be a really stupid fic to start with but hopefully it will get better XD

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

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Chapter 1 - Darkness Surrounds You

I used the text from the film as a guide for this chapter XD I dont own it though obviously!

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"Edward stop, her blood is clean, your killing her. Edward stop. Stop. Find the will." That was the last thing I heard before everything was black. Was I dead? I wasn't too sure myself, if I was, would I be like them soon? Was this the change?

"Bella? Bella!" I could hear a voice breaking through my thoughts, but everything was so blurry. Soft sheets brushed my arms as I tried to reach the voice. Where the hell was I? I slowly opened my eyes, half afraid of what I might see, but saw nothing terrible in front of me. It was my mom.

"Where is he?" As I spoke my throat felt like it was burning. I coughed to try and stop it but it didn't work. "Where's Edward?"

I followed her gaze to the side of the room and saw him sat up, slumped against the wall. "He's asleep." What?! "He never leaves." He never sleeps either, I felt like saying but stopped myself. "And your Dad's downstairs in the cafeteria"

I tried to move but felt wires attached to me from every angle. What the hell?! I looked down, scanning over my body and noticed something else too. A bloody great big cast on my leg! Images flashed through my head but none of it made any sense. A room of mirrors? Breaking glass? "What happened?" I mumbled, barely able to speak as I felt a pain start to grow in my leg.

"Well when you fell you broke your leg, and you lost a lot of blood." She stopped and looked at me, obviously noticing my look of confusion. When the hell did I fall? "You don't remember any of this do you?" I shook my head slowly and she carried on. "Edward came down with his dad to try and convince you to come back to forks, so you went over to the hotel and you tripped, and you fell down two flights of stairs, went through a window!"

More images flashed through my head. Standing in the dark in my old dance studio. Hearing my Mom's voice and then finding it only to be a video of her and me. Someone reflected in the mirrors. Glass smashing. I looked down again at my leg and saw the bandages on my right thigh. That's where I pulled the glass out. "Yeah that sounds like me." I said quietly, knowing that wasn't the truth, but she couldn't know that.

"Oh honey Im so sorry." there was a noise next to me and Mom picked up her phone from the bedside table. "Its Phil, he's so worried about you." She started clicking buttons and I first assumed she was finding his number in her phonebook to ring him, she never could work speed dial. When she didn't put the phone to her ear I realised something, that maybe wasn't such an important observation in my current situation but it was a serious shock.

"Your texting?"

"Finally yeah." She put the phone down and turned back to look at me. "I told him to stay down in Florida. Oh honey you are gonna love Jacksonville, its sunny everyday. And we found the cutest little house and you've got your own bathroom.

I stopped her before she could get too excited about it all, although I think she probably was already excited. "Mom, I still wanna live in forks."

"What?"

"I wanna live in forks."

"Ok, well, we'll talk about it." The way she said it made me feel like I had no choice, she was making it for me.

"Do you mind getting Dad?" I said, trying but failing to keep the annoyance out of my voice. I had suddenly remembered what I had said to him, and a terrible feeling washed over me. What if he didn't want me to stay? "I have to talk to him. Apologise."

"Ok baby, I'll go get him. And I'll get a nurse ok." She pressed a kiss to my forehead and made her way out of the room. I waited till the door slammed shut to turn back to Edward.

"So? What happened? Where's James?"

"I took care of it." He stood and walked across the room, sitting down in the seat next to me. "And the woman, Victoria, she ran off."

I stared at him for a moment, noticing something that for some reason made alarm bells go off in my head. He looked paler than usual, if that was possible. Maybe it was just my imagination. "Im alive because of you."

"No, your in here because of me." He's blaming himself for this? But it was James! "The worst part of it was I thought I wasn't gonna be able to stop."

Then I remembered. He had to suck the poison out, so I didn't turn. "You did stop."

"Bella you gotta go to Jacksonville. So I cant hurt you anymore." The look on his face told me that if he could cry, right now he would be. I felt close to tears myself.

A wave of emotions hit me all at once. Anger, confusion, annoyance, vulnerability, fear, rejection. All things I didn't want to be feeling from him and it all burst out as I tried to form a coherent sentence for him to understand. "What...are you…NO! No! How…I don't even know what your saying. How…what. What are you talking about? You want me to go away? No, I cant just leave you I…"

"I know." He interrupted, sending my thoughts flying around my head again. "But that's the way it has to be, you have to go."

"Edward you cant mean that!" I looked at him, trying to look him directly in the eye but he turned away from me. I tried lifting my arms but they felt like lead weights, I had no way of getting his attention unless he listened to me. "Don't you dare do this to me! Look at me. Look at me Edward!!" He turned to look my way but darted his eyes in another direction, avoiding eye contact at all times as I spoke. "Im not going anywhere, we cant be apart."

"Bella, there is no other way. I don't want to hurt you anymore." His voice showed no emotion but I could tell he didn't want to say all this. I hoped he didn't want to anyway.

"This is hurting me." It came out in a half whisper, and I wondered for a moment if he had heard me. When his eyes looked into mine I knew he had though. "You cant say stuff like that to me. Ever."

He stood up and my heart started beating faster. "If your not gonna go, then I have to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did anything to hurt you, anything to cause you more pain than you've already been through."

"Edward don't…"

"Goodbye Bella Swan. I love you."

--

Random place to end it I know, but I didnt know what else to write. I think I might change this anyway, Im not sure if I like it from Bella's POV but I wanted to be different, most of the fics are Edward POV. Let me know what you think, if its rubbish then Im not even gonna bother with anoyher chapter...although I am writting it right now! XD

Buhbye!!!


	2. Birthday Surprises

DEDICATED TO ALLTHATJAZZ1611! MY FIRST REVIEWER!! lOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

Chapter 2 - Birthday Surprises

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"I love you." The words rang through my head over and over. He sounded like he was in pain saying it, he was just so serious. Was it really such a difficult thing to say to me? Was I really so terrible that a simple thing like that would be so hard to say.

Then it hit me. He wasn't just saying it to say it. This was one of those 'I love you, goodbye.' situations Ive heard so much about and dreaded all my life. He was leaving me.

"Edward please…" I didn't know what I need to say, but before I had a chance to figure it out he was gone. I screamed for him, feeling tears starting to break away and course down my cheeks.

This isnt happening. This is all just a nightmare, and Ill wake up in a minute, and Edward will be standing by the window as always, and Ill feel safe and happy and loved. Yeah, this isnt real!

If only that were true.

My screams for him to come back were rapidly turning into nonsense as I tried to get up from the bed. Pain shot through my body, causing me to jerk back against the soft pillows to regain my breath and strength before trying again. Again I was racked with pain and had to fall back on the bed to stop the world from spinning around me. I heard voices and saw blurred people swim in front of me in a pool of colour, but nothing made sense to me. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and forget any of it ever happened.

Curling into a ball isnt really an option though when your attached to as many machines as I was at that time. And with a broken leg it would have been rather difficult, not to mention seriously painful. So I had to settle for just turning away from everyone, hiding my face against the pillow as I cried. I heard my Dad calling to me, he sounded so far away. I looked up and through my blurred vision I saw him, and then someone in a white coat burst through the doors with a group of blue people. I couldn't see him, but somehow I knew this Doctor wouldn't be Carlisle. The Cullen's would be leaving now, if not gone already. I had lost them. Forever.

I had lost Edward.

--

5 YEARS LATER!

--

"Issy, hurry up, we're gonna be late!" I heard Asher shout up the stairs. It was my birthday, and as usual I didn't really want to do anything special, but as usual he insisted we go out and celebrate. 'Your only young once.' He had said about a million times. 'You gotta live life to the full, who knows when it'll be over.'

"Im coming!" I shouted back, laughing as I heard him laugh and turn the TV up for the millionth time in an hour. Ok so I was taking a bit longer getting ready than he did. But its my birthday, my rules, my lateness. At least that's what I kept telling myself, we both knew this night was for him more than me. But still here I am, dolled up in the clothes he picked out for me, in the jewellery he bought for me, and wearing the makeup he decided looked best on me. Im his personal Barbie doll, but that's ok with me. That's just the way its always been.

"Finally! I was starting to go gray waiting for you." He said with a smile as I walked elegantly down the stairs. I used to be awful walking in heels, but having worn them practically every night for the last 3 years, they had become part of me, and I really couldn't imagine walking in flats again! "You look amazing. As ever." He slipped his arm around my waist and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Happy birthday Iss."

"Thank you. So are you gonna tell me where we're going? Or do I have to guess again?" I felt the familiar smile tugging the corners of my lips and couldn't help but let it out and laugh. Is someone had told me 3 years ago that Id be stood here like this, with the corny smile plastered on my lips, I would have said they were crazy. Now thought, it didn't feel so crazy. It felt perfect. Jacksonville certainly felt like home.

I should have known then that something was bound to go wrong. It always does with me.

Asher smiled, showing off his perfect white teeth. "You can guess all you want, Im not gonna tell you."

"Pretty please?" My wheedling rarely ever worked, but it was always good to try. This time it seemed my luck paid off

"Fine, but only so you wont be moaning the whole way there." I tried to pull an innocent face but he saw right through me. "Yeah I know what your like little miss. I wanted it to be a surprise but if you really have to know…Id hate to ruin it for you though…but I said Id tell you so…"

I started laughing as he continued his endless babble about nothing. "Stop." Damn it, why do I always fall for this? He does this every time we go out and yet still I cant bring myself to make him tell me. And he always gets so close too! Why didn't I just let him carry on for once!? "Lets just go before I ask again." He smiled, loving completely how it had worked once more.

The drive into town never took more than 10 minutes, which made people ask why we didn't just walk there instead, and my answer was always the same. 'Walk? In these heels? You have got to be joking!' ok so we could just walk and save on petrol and stuff, but then I would be pissed off before we got there, and would probably have broken the heels of my shoes, if not broken my legs. Better to be safe than sorry, so we safely always drove there.

As we neared the familiar club we always went to, I saw the familiar cue already forming. I always thought how much Id hate to be stuck in that cue, waiting to get in, hearing everyone having a good time but just not being close enough. At first, I had wanted to be normal and join the cue. Just to wait for it like they did. But who needs cues when you own the club. We got out of the car and the familiar lowly staff member took the keys to park it. Sailing straight through the doors, I stole a glace at the people stood waiting and glaring in envy as we were let in before them.

Then I spotted something. Or should I say someone. But that cant be possible! I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them wide. Still there. Asher tugged gently on my arm, pulling me through the doors into the pumping noise of the dance floor.

This was going to be a long night.

--

*Writing while listening to some random songs* Im in a really weird mood today, and Ive hurt my finger :( So this actually took quite a while to write with my one good hand. Still, here it is, hope you like it.

P.S. I know theres a helluva lot of description in this chapter, but Im working on the dialogue at the moment, Im not so good at it XD At least I asmit it hehe. Love ya!!


	3. Jingle Bells

DEDICATED TO ALLTHATJAZZ1611! MY FIRST REVIEWER!! lOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

Chapter 3 - Jingle Bells.

--

Inside the club the music was blaring, the dance floor was packed and people were having a brilliant time. I should have been one of them, but my mind was still reeling.

Alice.

Alice?

Alice!

It cant have been her, I must be seeing things. What the hell would she be doing here? The Cullen's had moved from Forks years ago, why would she be hanging around here now? Maybe they've moved back?

I was knocked from my thoughts as Asher pulled me past the velvet rope to the VIP area. Tonight was supposed to be fun and all I was doing was making myself feel weird. I told myself not to think about it again but as I sat down, a glass of champagne twisted into one hand, I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. He might be here too.

"Im gonna go dance." I shouted to Asher over the music. He looked at me strangely for a moment before slipping my hand free of his. "Your not coming?" I knew the answer but I had to ask anyway.

"Nah babe, gotta talk to Jay. Its business." He smiles and winks as usual, business isn't to be discussed when Im there, Im too simple to understand it. I know that really they just talk about girls, booze and drugs, but I wont destroy their little secret.

I stumble past back past the velvet rope, feeling just a little bit unstable in my heels. Ill take them off later, right now I have something to do. I have to see whether I did see Alice, or if my mind is just playing tricks on me. Its happened a few times now. Ill be walking through town and Ill think I see Rosalie, but when I look again she's gone. Sometimes it was one of the others, Carlisle and Esme appear together, and Emmett has been in my apartment sometimes. Alice is there most of the time thought, sometimes with Jasper but mostly just alone. But the one person I want to see is never there. Edward has disappeared even in my mind it seems.

As I trail across the dance floor people try to get me to dance but I brush them off, fighting to get tot ht other side as quick as I can. When I finally make it across the dance floor I run to the door and look at the cue. She's not there, but if she was really there she might have gone in by now. "Carl, you've been here all night haven't you?" I ask the nearest doorman.

"Yeah Iss, you need something?" He drawls, his strong southern accent making it almost impossible to understand him.

"I need to know if a girl went in. she's about my height with short brown hair, kinda sticks out. Have you seen her? Her names Alice if that helps too."

He scans the list of people that have gone in with his finger and stops about halfway down. "Alice Davidson?" I shake my head and he continues. "Alice Mathews?" Another shake. "Alice Cullen?"

"Yes! Yes that's her. How long ago did she go in? Has she left yet?"

"She went in just after you. Is she trouble? I can get her out if you want?"

"No its fine Carl, she's just an old friend. Did anyone go in with her?"

"Tall blonde guy. Hang on a sec." He looked over the list again and pointed to another name. "Edward Cullen."

My heart skips a beat as I look at the list again. Sure enough, there it is. He's here. "Thanks." My voice is shaky but I manage a normal smile. He nods his head at me and turns back to the cue of people still waiting. I mouth to them that Im sorry and then ran back inside. The music thumped in my ears but it doesn't seem as loud as before. Maybe Im just not listening properly.

I walk back onto the dance floor, looking over everyone to see if I can spot Alice or Edward. They should stick out in here being so pale, but I cant see them anywhere. After a few more minutes I give up and head to the bar.

"Pete!" I shout, leaning on the bar as usual. "I feel like something different today, what would you recommend?" I smile and twirl my hair round on my finger. I know he likes me, he's liked me since he started working here. Of course he wouldn't say anything about it, wanting the Boss's girl isn't usually seen as a good thing. But he always smiles that little bit more and takes the time to talk to me and get to know me, unlike anyone else here. Everyone else just thinks Im annoying and not worth the time, but he thinks more of me.

"How about…" He stops for a moment, smiling as he thinks about it. "Ill make a new one, just for you Bell's." He's also the only one who doesn't call me Iss, like Asher does. He knows me well enough to know I hate that nickname.

"Can I name it?"

"Of course." He started pouring different amounts from bottles into a shaker and I watched, trying to work out what everything was. He filled it then with ice and put the lid on. "You wanna shake it?"

"Ill probably end up shaking it across people." I laughed as he handed it to me.

"Nah you wont. Come round here and Ill show you how to do it properly."

He took my hand and led me along the bar to where it lifted to let me through. Id never been behind the bar before, except when people weren't actually here. It felt weird and I could see people looking at me, people who didn't know who I was. With Pete holding onto me still, god knows what they're thinking, but I really don't care. We walked back along the bar to where he left the shaker and he gave it to me again.

"I cant do it." I laughed as he looked at me expectantly.

"Sure you can. Its like this." He brought his arms up around me and his hands were on mine. "You just shake it. Its easy." He started to shake it, with me just stood there in the middle not doing anything but laughing.

"Can I name it now?" I said as he started to pour it into two glasses. He was obviously having one too.

"Yep. It has to have your name in it thought, that's the rules."

"What's in it?" That would help me with a name.

But he wouldn't tell me, he just smiled. "It's a secret."

"Alright, but don't be trying to poison me." I smiled too and looked at the shimmering liquid in my glass. "Jingle Bells!" I laughed. "It looks Christmassy." I picked up the glass and watched the ice swim through it all, it really did look magical.

"Jingle Bells." He laughed as he raised his glass to mine. I took a sip to see if it was nice, and absolutely loved it.

"You should go dance, I need to get back to work."

"Can I serve too? It looks fun!" Ok so maybe the drink was having a quick effect, I never usually thought it looked fun. Everyone always said how horrible it was, serving all these drinks but not being bale to have one themselves. But this way, I would see Alice when she came to get a drink. If she came to get a drink that is. From here I could pretty much see everyone anyway so I would eventually see her.

"Ok, but if Asher comes over you have to hide."

"Ok." I turned towards the people stood waiting to be served, and then I realised something. I didn't actually know what I was doing. "Pete?"

He smiled, already knowing what I was asking. "Just pull that, the name of the drink is on it too so you wont get confused. If they want cocktails ask me."

"Ok."

It turned out to be easier than I thought, and I even managed to make a few cocktails. I had help from Pete, but no one complained about them like I thought they would. And I have to admit it is good fun being back here with Pete, more fun than just sitting looking pretty for Asher.

I was getting more ice when I heard someone behind me waiting. "Hi, what can I get you?" I said as I turned around, then froze. "Alice?"

"I need to talk to you." She said, tipping her head and looking towards the side door of the bar. I shuffled along to where Pete was stood and stood on my tiptoes so I could talk without anyone else hearing. "This might sound really weird, but I just need to go back there for a second." I pointed towards the door and he nodded, though he looked confused. "I need to talk to someone, in private."

"Ok, just don't let Asher see you." He continued making a drink as I shuffled back along the bar, grabbing Alice's hand as I moved towards the door. She ducked under the barrier and followed me, closing it behind her.

"What the hell are you doing here Alice? No, forget that, how the hell did you know I was here?"

"I had to see you, I need to tell you something."

"Well tell me then. I cant stay back here long, Asher will wonder where I am."

"You cant go back to him!" Her outburst scared me a little. I always thought she was so quiet, this was a different side to her I had never seen before.

"Why not?"

"You just cant Bella, you don't know him." Did she look scared?

"What? I don't know him? Alice, Ive been with him for 3 years, I know him ok. You're the one that doesn't know him."

"He's not who you think he is, you need to stay away from him." She paused, noticing obviously that I wasn't listening. "Ive seen something."

"Your visions change, and how do I know…"

"Ive seen it a lot recently, Rosalie has too. Its doesn't change Bella, and Im scared."

"Since when does Rosalie have visions?"

"That's not the point right now, you just cant stay with him, you have to come with me now."

"Why?! What did you see Alice?"

"He hurts you. Badly. And its happens soon, I cant let you go back to him." She grabbed hold of my hand and started pulling me towards the back door.

"Alice! What the hell are you doing?"

Suddenly, she was back to her usual bouncy self. "There's someone you need to see."

--

I know Rosalie doesnt have visions, but I just thought Id make that bit up for this.


	4. Family Ties

DEDICATED TO HERESTOLIFE222!!! lOVE YOU lOVE YOU lOVE YOU!!!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

Chapter 4 - Family Ties.

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"Alice! Where the hell are you taking me? I need to get back in there, Pete will go nuts if I don't go back!" She was still dragging me towards the back door with me struggling to pull my arm free. I wasn't doing so well, she was stronger than I thought.

"Pete? I thought it was Asher?"

"No, Pete's the one who was at the bar with me, he'll wonder where I am if I don't go back. I could get him into trouble too. Alice let me go!"

"The guy at the bar?" I heard her giggle quietly but I could have been mistaken. "Trust me, he understands." By now she was out of the backdoor with me dragging along behind her.

"What? What the hell does that mean? Alice? Alice stop right now!" I grabbed hold of the nearest secure thing I could - the doorframe - and held on as tight as I could. Considering I only had one hand to hold on with (and my foot if I tried really hard) I did pretty well stopping us from moving.

"Bella can we move on please, everyones waiting back home." She rolled her eyes and pulled on my arm gently, but I didn't budge.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." I pulled her back through the door and shut it, sliding the lock across as I did.

"You know, if I wanted to I could easily get out." She said, smiling the true Alice smile.

"Your not going anywhere. What the hell is going on? I thought you all left?"

"We did." Ok so I wasn't going crazy, they did actually leave. "But not for long. Rosalie said you were in trouble. We came back but you weren't here."

"Yeah, I went away for a while." I had spent so long looking for them, searching everywhere I could think of. I knew they wouldn't go somewhere they had already been, they couldn't, but I also knew where they had been thinking of going next. England. I remember Emmett saying it was always wet there so it would be easy to blend in. Charlie called me stupid at the time, but I spent months travelling around England, searching for them everywhere. I never found them, and eventually I gave up. "So what are you doing here now?"

"I had a vision a few months ago. It was of you, which is weird because Carlisle said it would be impossible, being so far away would lessen any connection between us. I saw it more and more often and then Rosalie started seeing it too, exactly the same. We came back and then…" She stopped, looking straight at me. "Can I explain the rest later? Edward's waiting for us."

"Edward?" Did I want to see him after so long. He wont have changed, but I have so much, Im not the person he knew. Im not the person he's waiting for. While she had been talking, Alice had loosened her grip on my hand, making it easy for me to now slip my hand away. "I cant." I started walking back across the room to the bar.

"Bella, please don't do this. He really wants to see you. They all do."

"This is my life now. I miss you all so much, but I cant keep looking back on the past. Ive done that for too long."

I could feel tears started to force their way out but I tried to hold back. My heart was screaming at me to shut up, but my head was telling me I was doing the right thing. If I went back, they would just leave me again. I would have to pick up the pieces and move on and I wasn't sure if I could do that yet again.

As I turned to reach for the door, it swung open and Pete stepped out. "Im coming back in now. Alice was just leaving, you don't mind if she uses the back door do you?" Was that really my voice? It sounded so quiet and lifeless.

"Its ok Im coming too." His words bounced around me, making it hard for me to understand what he had said.

"Did you just say…"

"Yes I did. Shall we go then?"

My head was spinning. What the hell was going on?! "Hold on, how the hell do you know Alice?" It'll just be a reasonable answer, they were school friends or something.

"Family ties. Lets just get going and Carlisle can explain." It was Alice that spoke, but it could have been either one of them. My mind was reeling. How did he know Carlisle too? This was just getting too weird.

He couldn't be…

"Yes, I am."

"Oh my god." He can read my mind?

"Yes, I can."

"Holy Shit!" I stepped back and my hand shot up over my mouth. Why the hell could he read my mind? Edward never could, so why can he?

"I don't know." I really should stop thinking about anything. I saw him briefly smile and knew he had heard me. "Like I said, lets just get back and Carlisle can explain everything." He must have noticed I wasn't actually moving, was I breathing? "Bells, we're as shocked as you are, ok? Can you come with us please?" He held his hand out to me but I hesitated.

"I have to get back to Asher." My feeble excuse was barely over a whisper and for a moment I wasn't sure if he heard me.

"He's gone home. I told him you left already, girly night out with Celia and the clones."

Asher wouldn't go home without me. He knows that if I was going anywhere I would ask him first, or tell him at least. Nothing got past him, especially when it came down to me. "I don't believe you."

"Bella?" I heard the voice behind me but didn't turn to see who it was, I knew who it was. Instead I closed my eyes and dropped my head towards the ground. If I couldn't see him, I wouldn't feel anything for him again, right?

"Hello Edward." Footsteps rang out behind me, along with whispers and the door being slammed shut again. I hadn't even realised it had been opened.

"Open your eyes." Edward whispered close to my ear. It shocked me and I jumped slightly, but still held my eyes tight shut. His cold fingers traced my chin, tilting my head up towards him. "Open your eyes." It was louder this time, and not right in my ear so I knew he was stood in front of me. "Isabella Marie Swan, open your eyes now."

"Ok. Jeeze you don't have to full name me." I tried to think of a way I could open my eyes but not have to look at him, and the only thing I could think of so far was to cover my eyes. So I did. Its incredibly childish I know, but I had to do something. Even that couldn't work forever though.

"Bella, this is stupid." Was he laughing? He finds all this funny? "Yes I do actually."

I gasped and dropped my arms down to my side.

Did he really just read my mind? The sudden twinkle in his eyes gave me my answer.

He can read my mind.

--

Good cliffhanger? All will be explained in the next chapter! XD

Im not sure I like this chapter. Im not in a very good writting mood today and I was doing a million other things too, learning 2 songs for tomorrow :S writting my script out for drama and writting an Essay for another subject! Im a busy girlie, but I thought Id get this out, havent updated in a while. You know what you have to do now though dont you? Review and tell me how crap this chapter is, and how I can improve it XD Please


	5. Listen To My Heart

DEDICATED TO HERESTOLIFE222!!! AGAIN!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SECOND LOVELY REVIEW!!! lOVE YOU lOVE YOU lOVE YOU AGAIN!!! XD

ALSO DEDICATED TO WACKIJACKII524!!! lOVE YOU lOVE YOU lOVE YOU!!!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_I gasped and dropped my arms down to my side. _

_Did he really just read my mind? The sudden twinkle in his eyes gave me my answer._

_He can read my mind._

--

CHAPTER 5 - Listen To My Heart.

--

My head was reeling as I tried to figure out what had happened already tonight.

Alice found me.

Alice knows Pete.

Pete knows Carlisle.

Pete obviously knows Edward and the rest of them.

Pete can read my mind.

Edward can read my mind, that was the thing that shocked me most. It kinda worried me too, before I could have thought anything and not bothered about what he would think of me or what he would say, now I had to be careful. It was proving to be a difficult task, I couldn't hide anything from him.

"This is just as strange for you as it is for me Bella." Edwards voice broke through my reverie and I stared into his Golden eyes. Were they any different from the last time I saw him? They didn't look so sad, and maybe they were slightly brighter.

I broke away from his eyes and walked to the opposite side of the room, busying myself with some plastic wrapping on one of the shelves. "I don't think so, your used to reading peoples minds, it's a normal thing for you."

"Im not used to reading your mind though am I? This is new for me." I felt him behind me, his lack of body heat passing through to me and making me shiver. He was close. Too close? "To be honest, Im not sure if I like it."

"Why? Is there something wrong with me?" Are my thoughts really that bad?

As I turned to look at him I saw the smile spread across his face and he chuckled slightly. "I can read your mind and you think there's something wrong with you?"

He said that to me before all this, before I even knew him properly. I remembered it well, and he knew that. The smile spread as he walked closer. What's he doing?

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore. Will you come back with me?"

For the millionth time that night I found myself stuck for words. Could I go back? Before I had told myself that I couldn't, that it would be too hard to go back to the way things were because of my life now.

But when I think about it, do I really like my life now? I wear what Im told to wear, I do what Im told to do, I speak when Im told to. Its not a life at all, its not my life anyway. I wanted so much more for myself. I wanted a family and friends who care about me, not to be stuck with no one real to talk to, just clones who cling to me because of Asher. I wanted a career, to make something of my life, not to sit at home all day unless Asher needed me. The little things didn't seem to hard to cope with, but when I put it all together I realised I have become the exact opposite of who I wanted to be.

But there were still those nagging questions lurking in the back of my mind. Did I want to change it? Would I go back if I could?

Before I had chance to think about it I heard Edwards voice rise above my thoughts. "Come on then. Everyone waiting, Esme cant wait to see you."

Did I want to go with him? It was the hardest decision of my life, but I knew I had to make it. "No. Im not going." I stepped back and took a deep breath, could I really do this?

"What? But you said…"

"I said Im not going."

He took a step towards me and I stepped back. "I meant what I said you know. You are my life now."

"Yeah, well you were mine. But you left me Edward, and I cant forgive you for that." I could hear my voice starting to break, but I wouldn't let my feelings through. Instead, I turned and ran back through the door to the club. I could hear that Edward had followed me but I just kept running, I couldn't stop now. I ran across the dance floor, slowing slightly as I tried to push my way through the crowd of dancers. I stumbled up the stairs to the VIP area where I knew Asher would be waiting for me. But before I reached the velvet rope, I felt a cold hand curl around my arm and spin me around.

"Bella! Stop!"

"No Edward you stop! You cant do this, you cant just waltz back into my life and expect me to drop everything for you, it doesn't work like that! You turned my world upside down then left, do you think I coped well with that? Do you think I just got over you automatically? No! I didn't! So for once in my life Im making the right decision." I felt tears start to drip down my cheeks, the tears I had been trying to hold back.

"Issy?" I turned and saw Asher stood behind me, looking confused and just a little bit angry. He looked down at Edwards hand that was still on my arm and then looked at Edward. "Is there a problem?" He said as he pulled me towards him.

Edward slipped his hand away but he didn't stop glaring at Asher, and it scared me. It was the same look he had when he found me in Port Angeles. "I need to talk to Bella."

"Im sorry, Issy is unavailable right now, but you can leave a message with a good friend of mine." He looked past Edward and when I looked I saw Carl and Jack already waiting behind Edward. I knew that if he wanted to, Edward could overpower them easily, but he couldn't show it now.

"Bella, please. Just five minutes ok?"

"Carl take him away."

"Im not giving up. I will be back."

"Asher take me home."

"Bella!"

"Carl!"

"Asher lets go." I grabbed his hand and watched as Carl took hold of Edward.

This is the right thing to do., going back with Asher. I know it's the right thing to do.

If it is the right thing to do, why do I feel so bad about it?

Why does it hurt so much?

--

Review please XD


	6. Now Or Never

DEDICATION! HERESTOLIFE222! COS I JUST SERIOUSLY THINK YOU ARE AMAZING! YOUR AN AMAZING REVIEWER AND I lOVElOVElOVEYOU!!!

DEDICATION ALSO TO ERINCULLEN! lOVElOVElOVE YOU FOR REVIEWING!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_This is the right thing to do., going back with Asher. I know it's the right thing to do. _

_If it is the right thing to do, why do I feel so bad about it?_

_Why does it hurt so much?_

--

CHAPTER 6 - Now Or Never

--

"Issy what the hell was that?!" Asher burst as soon as we got into the car. I knew he would do this. He wouldn't want to make a scene while people could hear him, hearing the Boss ranting at his girlfriend isn't usually a good thing.

But I really didn't want to talk about it. "It was nothing."

"Nothing? That guy was all over you, and you expect me to believe its nothing?!"

"He wasn't all over me."

"Bullshit! Who the hell was he?!"

"Will you stop yelling at me, he's just an old friend I haven't seen in a while. Can we just go home please?"

"Whatever." I felt myself being pulled back in my seat as he pressed his foot against the pedal. He was going fast, too fast, way too fast!

"Slow down." As I reached for my seatbelt, I felt the speed of the car increase again. What the hell was he trying to do?! "Asher!"

"What? Im taking you home just like you asked."

I glanced across at him and saw the crazy look in his eyes. He's been pissed about people hitting on me before, but he's never been this crazy about it. "I want to be alive when I get there!"

"Don't get smart with me Issy, not now, not after HIM! I cant believe you were with him!" He was starting to scare me now, what the hell was he on about!!

"Him? You say that like you know him?"

"I know what he's like Issy. I know what he is! You don't wanna be messing around with him!" He turned the corner so violently that I was forced against the window sharply, it really hurt!

Did he really just say what I think he said? He couldn't possibly know! "There's nothing to know." I said quietly, trying to think of a way to calm him down and change the subject at the same time.

"Issy, Ive known this guy since he was a kid, I know what he's like."

What?!

"What did you just say? You've known him since you were a kid? That's impossible!" He couldn't be a vampire! I would have known by now, the signs were so obvious! It took me so little time to work it out with Edward, having 5 years with him and not noticing would just be impossible! He wasn't always cold, his eyes didn't change colour, he wasn't abnormally strong or fast - except maybe in his car - and most of all, he didn't drink blood!

"Issy, you're a smart girl, Im sure you know about him so you can pretty much work me out."

Oh god not another one! It wasn't possible! "Stop the car." Why do I always go quiet at the worst possible time? Did he even hear me?

"What?"

"Let me out."

"So you can go back to him? No way!" He started going faster and I held on tight to my seat.

"Asher Im not going back to him! Im just a bit freaked out with this!"

"With what? Its simple enough."

Was he really so stupid! How could be say it was simple, nothing is simple when it comes to vampires! "Simple? You're a vampire, that's not something simple!"

"It is in my world."

Was I some sort of Vampire magnet?! Already there had been Edward, which I guess I started anyway by working it out myself. But then there was James! I definitely didn't start that one, so what the hell was wrong with me!!

Then I remembered. Something Edward had said to me when he first told me. My blood was different, it smelt sweeter, it was like a drug for him. Maybe it was the same for Asher? This is all just getting too creepy!

As we neared a turn in the road I tried to rationalise the situation, at least until I was out of the car safely! "Well its not in my world, and in _my world _its not good if they have to scrape you off the windows. Please slow down."

"Fine." I felt him slow down immediately but we were still going way too fast. I was trying to look for a place he could stop to let me out when I saw a light not far away from us. I looked towards him and saw his bright blue eyes staring back into mine.

He wasn't watching the road, he was watching me!

"Turn the car!" I screamed as I scrambled to fasten me seatbelt. I had been trying to put it on earlier but my hands had been shaking so much that I couldn't do it. Now I felt the same, and time wasn't something I had right now!

"What?"

"Asher! Turn the goddamn car!!"

But it was too late for that. I saw the blinding light of the other cars headlights and automatically closed my eyes and put my arm up across my face to shield myself. Everything happened in slow motion. I felt the jolt of the impact push me forward and heard the crunching sound of metal against metal, and was so glad I finally managed to put my seatbelt on. If I hadn't I would have been thrown forward through the windscreen, right down between the two cars. I would have been crushed and probably have died instantly. Asher was shouting something, I couldn't quite make it out. But then there were other voices I recognised too.

"Oh my god! No! This cant be happening! This isn't happening!"

Alice?

"Ill stay here, you check her!"

Emmett?

Cold hands were up against my skin and I tried to wiggle myself away, only to feel a shooting pain all through my body, holding me in place.

"Oh Shit! Carlisle!"

Rosalie?

More cold hands, but I knew better than move away this time, I knew it would hurt. I felt the hands moved across my stomach and winced and a searing pain shot through me. "Ive called an ambulance but she's losing too much blood, they wont get here on time."

"What do I do?"

Edward?! I tried to open my eyes and found it was harder than normal, they felt sticky. I finally managed it, but everything was blurry. I couldn't be sure if it was Edward or not, maybe I was just losing my mind?

"You know what you have to do." Pause. What did he have to do? "Edward, she changed or she dies. Make the choice." At least I knew now I wasn't going crazy. But then what they were saying sunk in.

Changes?

Oh my god! Were they seriously talking about changing me? And what wasn't I going to survive?! All I knew right now was that I was in a lot of pain. I opened my eyes again, managed to force then open slightly more this time and looked down.

And that's when I worked out that Im not only a vampire magnet, Im also a glass magnet! A huge chunk of the windscreen was sticking out of me. So much for the seatbelt keeping me safe! That was literally hanging by a thread somewhere near my abdomen.

"I cant do it." His voice was low, but I could tell it was Edward.

"Edward you cant let her die!" Alice now. She sounded far away, maybe someone was holding her back? "Its gonna happen Edward, Ive seen it."

"Your visions change!" Edward.

"If you don't do it she will die. Its no different to how you all became vampires." Emmett? No, Carlisle. It was becoming harder and harder to make out the voices as my head started to get heavy. My body was completely numb, except for one part. My stomach, where the glass was lodged inside me.

"Edward. Please." I managed to say, although my voice was low and scratchy. "Make. It. Stop." I sucked in sharp breaths after each breath I spoke, it was necessary but it hurt like hell!

Cold hands moved away from me, and I thought for a moment he had given up. "Never." Came the whispered reply next to my ear. "Im sorry. Im gonna make it stop, but its gonna hurt for a while. Carlisle can give you something to ease the pain, but he cant make it go away, its something you have to go through." He was really gonna do it? After all the times he said he wouldn't, now he was? I suppose he had no choice, it was a live or die situation, and he wanted me to live.

I felt the stinging pain as his teeth cut into my arm, and then the sudden rush of heat that spread throughout my body, centring in my head. I felt like it was tearing me in two, burning me alive from the inside. Was this how I was meant to feel? It felt all wrong, like it shouldn't be happening. Of course that's because it shouldn't, being turned into a vampire isn't exactly a normal thing that everyone goes through, it wasn't going to feel like anything normal. But still, this was like over-the-top agony! There was another sting, less painful and smaller than the last which I assumed was Carlisle injecting me with something. Then I felt something else, that would have made me vomit had I been someone watching.

They pulled the glass out.

But I didn't feel anything flood out like I thought it would. Maybe It was healing? Or maybe this was part of the change? Becoming a vampire meant I was dead, or un-dead, which also meant I had no blood. Was that it?

"We need to get her back, she needs rest." Well vampires don't need rest so I knew I wasn't finished yet, I was just getting started.

As I was lifted from the wreckage, I began to think about different things, as I was placed onto the soft seat of what I assumes was the backseat of Edwards Volvo, I started to wonder...

Where the hell was Asher?

--

Good enough?

Ok so this chapter is kinda nuts! I got the idea a few days ago on my way back from college and I just had to add it somehow! The bus crashed! (It wasn't anything major, and as you can tell I didn't die!) So the whole crashing bit I thought would be a really interesting way for Asher to hurt her, but also for it to not all be his fault! The reasoning behind this will become clear later on, as will the reason Edward hates him! The fact that he is a vampire just kinda popped into my head, and I thought I could get something good from it. Hopefully Ill be right! Please let me know if this is a good or bad chapter, if you don't like it Ill scrap it! XD


	7. Feels Like Home

DEDICATION! HERESTOLIFE222! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SAY THEYLL ALL BE DEDICATED TO YOU, THATS HOW ITS WORKING OUT AT THE MOMENT! lOVElOVElOVEYOU!!!

DEDICATION ALSO TO ERINCULLEN, XXSHELLXX, DREAMS TURN TO WORDS! lOVElOVElOVE YOU FOR REVIEWING!

There will be a dedication in every chapter XD Review to get one!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_"We need to get her back, she needs rest." Well vampires don't need rest so I knew I wasn't finished yet, I was just getting started._

_As I was lifted from the wreckage, I began to think about different things, as I was placed onto the soft seat of what I assumes was the backseat of Edwards Volvo, I started to wonder._

_Where the hell was Asher?_

--

CHAPTER 7 - Feels Like Home

--

Where the hell am I? This doesn't feel like my bed? I opened my eyes slowly and the world swam before me. Carefully, I pulled myself up and swung my legs around to stand up. Was I dreaming? Nothing seemed real, nothing felt real. It was like I was on a cloud, light and free. But I was so dizzy, like I was about to fall off the cloud at any second. I tried to steady myself by reaching out to hold onto something, but there was nothing to hold onto. Everything was too far away. Instead I collapsed back onto the bed, or what I thought was a bed. As my vision started to clear, the room was flooded by light.

I looked over to where it was coming from and say a huge bay window that opened straight out into the surrounding forest. It looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I shook my head and at once regretted it, feeling a shooting pain shoot through me. I closed my eyes at the pain and waited till it was gone. I could see everything clearly now, but it was still confusing me.

Why was I in Edwards room?

I looked around me again and confirmed for myself that it was his room. The many CD's and the lack of a bed were all the clues I needed to tell me that. I remembered the last time I was here, when Edward had flown me out of the window and through the trees. It was an amazing feeling, and standing here now brought it all back for me.

"Your awake. Finally, Ive been waiting ages." I turned as I heard the voice. Tinkling and soft. Alice. Her bright smile greeted me and I suppose the look on her face at least meant everything was ok.

"What's going on?" My voice was scratchy and my throat felt like sandpaper as I spoke. It startled me for a moment and I looked to Alice, hoping for an answer.

"You don't remember anything?"

What was there to remember? All I could remember was a bright light, and a lot of pain, and whispered voices all around me. As I thought about it more, images flashed through my mind, showing me exactly what had happened. My knees buckled and I felt Alice holding me up, but there was one thing that stuck out, and made me realise something was seriously wrong.

Her hands were warm.

"Wha…I mean you…and its…" I tried to form a coherent sentence as everything ran through my head over and over again.

"Carlisle is better at explaining than me, lets go find him." She kept hold of my arm as she led me out of the room and down the stairs. I could hear distant voices that echoed around me and made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I heard my name and centred my attention on the conversation.

"She's fine, really. She just has to adjust to this. Its gonna be hard at first but she's a strong girl, she can do it."

"I can do what?" I said as I walked into the room. Edward and Carlisle were sat on the sofa in the corner of the room and as we walked closer, I saw the shocked expression on Edwards face.

Carlisle stood and walked towards me, a smile flitting across his face. "Bella, how do you feel?"

"Umm…Im ok. My head hurts a bit, and my throat is really sore." He nodded and looked briefly over to Edward then back to me.

"I told her you'd be better at explaining." Alice said before smiling and walking out of the room, and I watched in amazement as she climbed out of a window and along a tree branch. I guess I would have to get used to her doing that.

I walked across the room and sat down next to Edward, noting that he was still silent and still staring at me like I was some sort of alien.

"Can you tell me what's going on? Im so confused."

"Bella do you remember anything before now? Before waking up I mean."

The images flashed through my mind again and I felt Edward wince beside me as I remembered the crash. "I was arguing with someone. But then its all fuzzy after that."

"You were losing a lot of blood." Edward spoke finally. "Nothing I did could stop it and I knew the ambulance wouldn't be there on time." He hesitated and looked at me.

"What do you…? I don't understand? What happened? Why was I losing blood?" I remembered a crash, but I hadn't felt anything. If I wasn't in pain then I couldn't have been hurt, right?

"Wrong."

"And what's up with that?!" It was more of a question to myself but Carlisle answered anyway.

"Ok Ill start from the beginning then. Edward can hear you because although you may not think so you've changed in the past few years, a lot. Your not as closed off as you used to be, meaning your mind isn't private anymore. That's why he couldn't read your mind before, because you were a secret person, you didn't like to let people in and show them who you really were. But Asher changed that." At the mention of his name I felt Edward tense next to me. Did he just growl?! "He wanted to know everything about you, so he created a new you just for him, and made it so he could know what you were thinking. That way he could be what you wanted him to be and he would know if anyone was getting in the way."

"What? That makes no sense."

"Its true though, you have changed haven't you? Become what he wanted you to be?"

Can he read my mind too? "I….I guess so. We both changed for each other, its called a relationship." Ok Bella, sarcasm isn't good right now!

"A relationship? Well if it was such a great relationship then enlighten me, where is he now? Where is he when you need him?"

Ok so the guy has a point! But that still doesn't change anything.

"He's probably looking for me…I should go…"

"He went back to Victoria." There was an awkward silence that seemed to slice through me.

"Victoria? Who the hell is Victoria?"

Carlisle stood and left the room without a word, leaving me and Edward alone to talk. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did.

"You don't remember?"

"Im sick of having to remember things! Just tell me!"

He stood and walked across the room. I thought he was leaving but he stopped and turned, walking over to the window instead. "The ball game. Think back to the ball game."

"Yeah I remember it, you had to play in a thunderstorm. What do I need to think about? There was no Victoria there? It was us."

"James."

The name sent a shiver up my spine, and suddenly I remembered everything. The ball game was just the start, I had been safe until those three walked onto the field like they owned it. James. Laurent. Victoria.

Victoria?!

"No way!" I buried my head in my hand as it shook back and forth. "I refuse to believe he has anything to do with her! With them!!"

"He's one of them, Bella. He was planning on making you one of them too, part of their coven."

"I don't believe you." I heard my voice starting to break. Asher wouldn't do that, he wouldn't betray me like that.

"Why do you think we sent Pete to work there? So he could keep an eye on you, to keep you safe." He didn't do a very good job then did he! Edward turned to look at me, his face creased up in confusion. "Why?" Shit! "Bella tell me."

"Im tired, Im going to bed." I rose from my seat and walked quickly across the room, but Edward was quicker. He was in front of me within seconds, blocking my way.

"Bella, you don't sleep." What?

"Yeah I do."

He sighed and took my hand, leading me back to sit down. "When you crashed, you were losing a lot of blood." Oh no! The look in his eyes tells me I don't wanna hear what he's about to say. He closed his eyes and continued. "I had two choices: lose you or turn you. And I couldn't lose you Bella."

I tried to let what had said sink in, but it just seemed too weird. "So you turned me? Im a vampire now?" I couldn't help the smile that started to tug on the corners of my lips. I had thought about it before, but I never thought he would actually do it.

"That doesn't freak you out?"

Did it freak me out? I wasn't sure, maybe it hadn't sunk in properly yet. "No, it doesn't freak me out. In fact it's a good thing."

"How?"

I smiled fully now, and I could see that he was trying not to smile too. "Cos it means you don't wanna kill me anymore." I laughed, that was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard myself say.

To my surprise Edward laughed too. "Yeah that's true." He put his arm around me and I curled myself up next to him. My head was resting on his shoulder and I felt so comfortable, if I was able to I would have probably fallen asleep right there. There was nowhere in the world I would rather have been. As we sat there in silence, a thought ran through my head.

Feels like home.

I heard him chuckle slightly above me, before wrapping his arms around me tighter. "It is home."

--

Im not sure about this, its ends a bit too sudden for me but I didnt know what else to write. What do you think?


	8. AUTHORS NOTE! Sorry!

**I know you probably hate author notes, but as much as I really do hate them too, this one had to be done. I wont be able to update for this week and possibly next week too, I've got my Drama shows this week and then my Dance shows next week :S**

**Madness!!**

**So Im really really sorry to those who want a quick update, I will be writing whenever I have free time though so when I finally update again I should have a few chapters to give you! Well that's the plan anyway! XD**

**Hope you have enjoyed it so far, let me know if there can be any improvements you think couldbe made, criticism (as long as it is constructive!) is greatly appreciated, it makes me a better writer! XD**

**I do realise Im not perfect at spelling sometimes, I kinda don't notice when Im really in the writing mood, so also any spelling/grammatical errors you spot just let me know and Ill change it when I can!**

**Any ideas that you wanna add too, go for it! I will credit you if I use your ideas, its only fair!**

**And if I don't get a chance to say it…..**

*** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

*** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

*** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

**(^ ^ Meant to be snowflakes! :S ^ ^)**

**x**

**MissNickyTwilight!**

**x**


	9. The End Of Arguements

Woooo! Im back, dance show is cancelled so I have lots and lots of free time to write now! XD

I was gonna do a chapter about Bella's first feeding, but I started writing it and it just didn't feel right. I might add it on later, but for now we'll skip that bit…sorry if people wanted that!

This chapter is a bit…strange…I think so anyway. I might change it, not sure yet. Ill see what you think! XD

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_There was nowhere in the world I would rather have been. As we sat there in silence, a thought ran through my head._

_Feels like home._

_I heard him chuckle slightly above me, before wrapping his arms around me tighter. "It is home."_

--

"Isabella Marie Swan, there is no way I am letting you do this!" Does he always have to argue with me while Im getting dressed?! "Yes I do!"

"Will you just relax. I know what Im doing, and I can take care of myself so no your not coming." He was always worrying about stupid little things, but maybe now he had a right to be worrying. I had no idea what I was doing, and I didn't know if I could take care of myself. But he is never going to know this of course, it'd just make him worry more.

"Your actually being serious? After everything that's happened your still doing this?" I looked up and saw the look on his face, but I couldn't make it out. Was he angry? Or scared? Or sad? Or maybe all three?

I knew I had to do it, and I knew he wouldn't understand. "Yes, I am. It has to be done if I want to move on." I finished getting dressed and turned to see Edward standing in the doorway. "You really think you can stop me that easily? I can just jump out of the window."

"Good point." I smiled a triumphant smile as he stepped away from the door. "So asking you to stay wont work. I could make you."

"You don't scare me." A small giggle escaped my lips as I stood on my tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "I wont be long." Before he could argue with me again I shot out of the room and down the stairs. Alice was waiting for me reluctantly at the door. Like Edward, she thought I was being stupid, but she also saw the logic behind my madness. I had to get some things sorted and this was the only way.

"I wont come in, but I am waiting there for you. If anything goes wrong Im getting Edward." She said quickly as I rushed out of the door to the car. I slipped into the passenger seat and waited for her to catch up with me.

"We could walk, it'll probably be quicker." I really need to stop being so sarcastic!

"Not a chance! I need some way of getting you back safe, Edward will kill me if anything happens to you. So be careful!"

"I will." Try. I will try. It wasn't really a promise I could make, I had no idea what was going to happen!

Why isn't the car starting? I looked over at Alice and saw her looking straight back at me. "If you wanna change your mind, now is your chance." She smiled at me, silently begging me to change my mind, but still I sat there. Her smile fell and she started the car, turning away from me and looking ahead.

Her silence was scaring me. I was so used to her being the bubbly member of the family, being with her when she was quiet was very rare. "Alice, I know you don't wanna do this but it'll give me some peace of mind. I need to know what Ive been doing with my life for the past 5 years, and this is the only way." Silent. "Ill be back to the normal me after this." Still silent. "Alice please, this isn't exactly easy for me either, I don't want to do it but its not like I have any other choice."

"You do have a choice thought Bella! That's what I don't understand. If your don't want to do it then don't do it!"

"No, now you don't understand. I don't want to, but I have to if I want to move on, to live like me not a demented Barbie doll!"

"Ok." What?! She's actually agreeing with me?! "I see your point, but what if something happens and you cant deal with it on your own, then what?"

To be honest, I had no idea. My plan was that I didn't have a plan, they always went wrong anyway! But she had a good point. I might be feeling like I can handle anything, and I might have a few things organised if things do go wrong. But what if my backup ideas don't have any effect? Then I'd really be stuck. Then I thought of something else! "Have you seen anything going wrong?" She must have seen something about this, she knew my idea before I told her, and started arguing with me about it straight away.

"No, but that doesn't mean it wont. My visions change!"

"Well this one wont be changing."

"Are you sure?" She stopped the car and looked out of the front window and then at me. Lights were flashing all around the car and her eyes looked like they were on fire.

No. "Positive!" I smiled in what I hoped was I positive way before making a swift exit from the car. If I had stayed any longer, she would have driven me home!

"Im staying right her!" She shouted, poking her head out of the window and looking more like a pixie than ever.

"Ok, I wont be long."

As I made my way around the crowd of people, I could feel my hands starting to shake already. This had to work, it just had to. I didn't know what I was gonna go if it didn't, or what would happen to me if it all went wrong.

I didn't know what Asher was capable of.

I approached the doors and put on my usual bright smile, trying hard to hide my shaking hands and hoping I wasn't too obvious. Carl looked up as I reached the front of the cue and his eyes grew wide. "Jesus Issy! Where the hell have you been? We've missed you!"

I had no idea what Asher had told them, if anything so I tried to make something up. "I…I was away…I went to see my Mom." Thankfully they believed me and I was able to pass through the doors as usual without any fuss.

This was going to be easier than I thought. The first part anyway! Finding him would be easy, he was always in the same place. The hard part was going to be talking to him.

People came up to me, asking me where Id been and trying to get me to dance with them, but I decided that it was better to do what I had come to do and get it out of the way.

I pushed my way across the dance floor and up the many stairs to the VIP area. There seemed to be so many steps. Had there always been this many? Maybe I just never thought about it before now.

The velvet rope was lifted for me without an argument and I passed through into the very small crowd of people. I looked over to where I knew he would be and saw him looking straight at me, his eyes almost as wide as his mouth.

This was going to be fun!

--

Hopefully this is good enough for you all! Next chapter will be more explaination for those still confused XD Dont worry, I was still confused up till now, and Im the bloody author! XD


	10. Roses Are Red

Sorry, I would have updated earlier but...I got kidnapped by space-monkeys...who took me to mars, no net connection!

(You dont believe that do you? Hehe, Im not so great at excuses!)

Actually I just ended up babysitting for my sister so she could go out :(

I didn't get a choice! As always! So anyway, here's my new chapter, sorry for the wait!

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_The velvet rope was lifted for me without an argument and I passed through into the very small crowd of people. I looked over to where I knew he would be and saw him looking straight at me, his eyes almost as wide as his mouth._

_This was going to be fun!_

--

I walked slowly through the small crowd, hoping that after all that had happened I looked more confident than I felt. I could feel my hands started to shake and clenched my fists to stop it from showing. If he saw I was feeling weak, he would win this. I couldn't let him win.

Although I didn't even know what the prize was if I did. Was it my life? My freedom? They were basically the same thing, so I hoped that if all went to plan I would be free of him for good.

He was right in front of me now. What the hell was I going to say? I knew what needed to be said, but with all the people around I didn't know if I would be able to say it.

"Issy. Where the hell have you been?" He was trying to act so innocent, like he hadn't done anything wrong. Did he know what had happened? Maybe he was just trying to put on an act for everyone there.

"I need to talk to you." I finally managed to say. My voice sounded so weird. "In private." I looked around at everyone there to emphasis my point, and from the look on his face I knew he was reluctant. "Now!" As I turned around I could sense his following close behind me, down the stairs and across the dance floor. I slipped under the bar, which in my heels wasn't such an easy thing, and practically ran through the back door. It was cold in the room so it was easy to hide the fact that I was shaking.

"What's up Issy?" He said after closing the door.

"Don't call me that!" I had always thought it was such a stupid nickname, but had never felt I should say anything about it. Now it was just too much. "That's not my name!"

"Whoa! Chill out b…" He was cut short as I swung around and slapped my hand across his face. It surprised even me with how fast it had happened.

"And Im not your babe." But then he surprised me. I thought I knew how strong he was from times we had argued. He would always grab hold of my arms as I lashed out at him, freezing my arms in mid air with ease. Now I was stronger, it was a shock to see he could still do that.

"What the hell has gotten into you? And where have you been? Ive been freaking out worrying about you!"

"You were worrying about me? Not worried enough to stay with me after you crashed the car! Not worried enough to try and find me!" I tried to pull my arms out of his hands but he held onto my tighter, making me feel like he was crushing my bones. "You were so bloody worried that you left me to fucking die!!" That seemed to get to him, and I felt his hold lessen. I needed to keep going. "You left me there, with a huge piece of _your_ car sticking out of me, bleeding to death!" It was almost loose enough for me to slip my hands out now, but not quite. I needed something else, something good. "I would have died. Did you know that? I would have died, if Edward hadn't saved me."

I knew this would hit a nerve, any mention of Edward was bound too, but what happened next I wasn't expecting. He let go of my arms, grabbing hold my hair instead and launching my across the room. It reminded me of James, and the dance studio. When James had done this, I slid across the floor at an amazingly fast speed, cracking my hand on the edge of the wall. But now was different. I was different. I managed to control myself enough to land on my feet just a few paces away from where I had been. His face was a picture; eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He couldn't believe what I had just done, and I think what had happened had finally hit him. But for now, I had some time to mess with him.

"Surprised are we?" I said as I walked slowly around him, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "Im not as fragile as you though, am I?" hearing the hitch in his breath, I stifled a giggle and continued my game, walking around so I was stood in front of him. "I had thought you would have noticed by now. Don't I smell different?"

I wasn't sure if he was ashamed of not noticing earlier, or if he just didn't want to kick up a fuss about it, but he avoided my question and tried to change the subject. "What are you doing here?"

"I need some answers. And you're the only one who can give me them."

"What makes you think Im gonna tell you anything?" I saw the dangerous glint in his eyes and knew he had something up his sleeve. "What do I get in return?"

"Ill let you live, is that enough?" My head was spinning as I waited for his answer. Hopefully, he wouldn't know I was bluffing. I had no way of hurting him, I wasn't strong enough to do anything, but he didn't know that!

There was a long pause in which he backed away and sat on one of the nearby shelves. "So what is it you want to know?"

It had worked! It actually worked! I couldn't believe it, and in my moment of silent victory I almost forgot what I was there for. "I know what you are Asher. I want to know how and why, in the 5 years I've known you, you've hidden it from me?"

"Why would I tell you? Its not something that I generally tell people when I meet them. It wouldn't be a very long conversation would it? 'Hi, Im Asher and Im a Vampire.'" He tipped his head back and chuckled. "It was actually quite easy though, you don't pay that much attention."

"What?! I do pay attention!" How dare he!

"Isabella." I noticed he used my full name, trying to avoid me lashing out again. He jumped off the shelf and walked towards me. "Look closely at my eyes." I did as he said and what I saw shocked me.

It was so obvious, how could I never have noticed that?!

They were Red.

--

I got told by someone that James had Red eyes, so I thought if Asher is part of his coven! It made sense to me anyway, so let me know what you think!

Sorry about the clffhanger :P It sounded like a good place to end it!


	11. Starts With Goodbye

I don't own any of it, all credit goes to creative genius Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! XD

NickyTwilight!

--

_--PREVIOUSLY!!--_

_"Isabella." I noticed he used my full name, trying to avoid me lashing out again. He jumped off the shelf and walked towards me. "Look closely at my eyes." I did as he said and what I saw shocked me._

_It was so obvious, how could I never have noticed that?!_

_They were Red._

--

"What the hell?!" I shouted. The music was blaring loud enough for no one to hear me, but I don't think I would have cared even if they could. "How the fuck did you hide that from me?! Im not an idiot Asher, and I looked at your eyes loads, and you had blue eyes!" I was right! I remembered when I looked at him on the night of the crash, his eyes were blue. Or was my mind playing tricks on me? Maybe along with being able to hear my thoughts, he had changed them too so all the obvious signs were blocked? That had to be it!

"It really wasn't that hard to hide, people believe what they want to believe. Or in this case, what I want them to believe."

I knew it!

"So you brainwashed me?! You brainwashed everyone?!" my voice was slowly becoming louder and louder, but I really didn't care.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Its my gift." He smiled, looking as smug as ever, and as I looked at him I began to wonder something. How could I ever have thought he was cute?

"Your gift? Oh yeah, being brainwashed is what everyone wants for Christmas this year, cheers for that." Stupid sarcasm!

His smile dropped. "Not a gift for others smartass."

"So your gift is the ability to make people believe your human? Why wouldn't they think that though?"

"You thought that about Edward." He did have a very good point, it hadn't taken me long to put it all together. "You even thought that about me sometimes. But you would always kinda argue with yourself about it and decide you were being stupid. It was actually quite funny to listen to."

"I don't remember ever thinking you weren't human?" I was getting really confused now. What the hell was going on?!

Asher simply shrugged. "I wiped it from your memory, so you wouldn't work it out. You got pretty close, and I couldn't let you."

"But it still doesn't make any sense! Your not always cold, your not abnormally strong or fast, you actually sleep, and you don't drink blood!!"

"I am cold, and strong and fast. I just never let you see that, or anyone else. I don't sleep, I just waited until you were asleep to get on with things I needed to do, and yes I do."

My head was spinning again, I hated when that happened. "But…no. That makes no sense. I would have noticed you drinking blood." I stopped for a moment and looked up at him. "I think."

"Its one of the things I did while you were asleep, you're a heavy sleeper and usually you were out for a while."

Ok, so all that I could cope with, but the fact that he was so calm now make me nervous. There was still one thing I needed to know. "James?" Would he know what I wanted to know?

"Ah. My little rouge." There was a hint of a smile playing across his face, but I knew he was trying to hold it back in case I lashed out again. "What can I say? He went a bit crazy, and I lost track of him. I didn't bother trying to find him because I knew he would just cause trouble, like he always did. I heard a few rumours about what had happened, and that he was dead, and I needed to know for myself if it was all true. When I got here, Victoria informed me it was, and I planned to get my revenge but I couldn't do it."

Oh god, he's not gonna make some rubbish up is he? "Couldn't do what?"

"Kill you. You seemed too good to kill." I was seriously gonna be sick! What a load of rubbish! He didn't really expect me to believe that did he? "So is my interrogation over? I really should get back in there, Im a busy man."

"How can you be so calm about all this? Its insane. Your insane!"

He started laughing and I backed away as he walked towards me. "Im not insane, I just know when Ive lost." What? "Edward is alright I guess, and if he's won your heart then well done to him, its more than I could ever do." What?! "Goodbye Isabella. Take care, and don't be a stranger." Before I had the chance to catch up with everything he had said, he had walked back through to the bar. My head was reeling, and I tried to put my thoughts into some sort of order but nothing seemed to make sense. I stumbled back through the bar and looked up to the VIP area. Asher was nowhere in sight. I squeezed my way through the dancers and out to the front door. Carl wasn't there. Where the hell had they gone?

"Bella!" Alice's voice broke me out of my reverie and I made my way across the car to where she was waiting. "Are you ok? Did anything happen? What happened?" She said, her voice higher than normal - if that was possible!

She really needed to calm down. "Alice I…

"He didn't hurt you did he? What happened?

"Alice."

"Where is he? What happened?"

"Alice!" Finally she stopped talking. "Im fine. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. He didn't do anything to me. Nothing happened. He's inside. And once again, nothing happened. I think that's all the questions." I opened the passenger door and waited for her to climb into the car after me, she was still frozen in place, possibly thinking about what the questions were. She eventually got into the car and started it.

The drive home seemed longer than it should have been. I looked out of the window and everything looked as it should. Maybe I was just imagining it. After what felt like hours, the house came into view. I waited until Alice had stopped the car before I unclipped my seatbelt and reached to open the door. But it wouldn't open. I looked at Alice who looked back at me, her eyes shining as if she was about to cry.

"I just need to be sure about this, he really didn't hurt you?"

"He really didn't hurt me." The look on her face told me she didn't believe me. "We talked, ok? That's it. If anything had happened I would tell you." Still unbelieving. "Alice, I wouldn't lie to you, you know that. Can we go in now? If we don't Edward might think we're not coming back." I heard the small click of the lock and knew she was thinking the same.

I got out of the car and we started walking up towards the house, but all I could think about was my conversation with Asher. He had confused me so much with what he was saying, and how he said it too. I thought he would hate me for leaving him, but it was almost like he wasn't even bothered by it. There were so many things I now needed to ask him but Edward wouldn't let me go back again. I needed answers if I was going to work anything out in my head, but I definitely wasn't going to get any now.

Of all the things he said, two things stuck out the most.

__

"Take care, and don't be a stranger."

Was he expecting me to go back? Maybe he said all that other stuff to confuse me on purpose, so then I would go back?

The second thing was possibly the weirdest thing. I don't know why, but when he had said it I felt so horrible, like the ground had fallen from beneath me.

__

"Goodbye Isabella."

Why did that make me feel so awful?

I guess it's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

--

I had planned for Asher to be a bad guy, but then I had a few more ideas and decided he would be better as a good guy, so Bella has more people to turn to if she needs them. Makes sense? XD

And also, sorry this ends in a weird place. My sis is having a stress as usual about me being still online when its late (23:28 is not late to me!) so I have to go! But I will try to add more tomorrow...if I can actally get on the comp, took my ages to get it off her today! Not good!

Hope you liked the chapter anyway, apart from the abrupt ending of course!


	12. CHRISTMAS MESSAGE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!

As a Christmas pressie to you all I will try to update very very soon for you all, might even be tomorrow! XD Hope you all have a good Christmas and if I dont update in time

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

XD

MissNickyTwilight!

xxx


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